


The Bullet is Still in my Pocket

by Nisaki



Series: Bullets [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Bottom Jared, Hitman Jensen, Hurt Jared, Hurt Jensen, Killing, M/M, Top Jensen, organized crime and mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 07:11:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15238116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/pseuds/Nisaki
Summary: Sequel toBullet Through my Heart.It feels like he's stepping into his past, like throwing away all the things he's learnt. But Jensen has something to lose now, and he cannot afford to dwell on petty things like killing people. He's got to get Jared back before it's too late.





	The Bullet is Still in my Pocket

**Author's Note:**

> This is second part to my story Bullet Through my Heart and generally won't make sense without reading that first. 
> 
> Thank you to my Beta [Soy-em](https://soy-em.tumblr.com)  
> [Laughablelament](https://laughablelament.tumblr.com), for listening to me moaning about this. 
> 
> P.S This story is _loosely _set in the John Wick universe. The plot has nothing to do with the movie, and you don't need to have watched it to follow.__
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> _I don't own John Wick or the characters, sadly. I wouldn't be as poor if I did._  
> 

 

_The nurse was tall. It was the first thing Jensen noticed about the man. He looked nervous as fuck, as if Jensen was a dragon and he was forced to feed him. He suspected the short, sharp-tongued nurse had something to do with his rapidly declining reputation._

_Nerves aside, this kid could easily be the hottest thing Jensen's eyes had fallen upon. There's something about him, the way he stood there, waiting for permission to enter, that was endearing._

_''Evening, nurse.''_

_''I'm Jared,'' the guy blurted. Jensen grinned. It only made Jared more fidgety. He hurried to Jensen's side, checked that everything was in place._

_''You should be good to go tomorrow, Mr. Winchester.'' Jared made to move but Jensen's hand shot out and held him. Jared's wrist a perfect fit in his palm._

_''What if I don't want to leave?'' He asked, face barely an inch away from Jared's._

_''Mr. Winchester, you ca-''_

_''Dean. Call me Dean.''_

_He didn't think much of it, another fling. A hot guy to fuck before he had to leave town. The shy nurse proved to be harder than that. Jensen asked him for dinner._

_Nothing happened that night._

_They ate at a burger joint, the food greasy and cheap. Jensen owned a lot of money, he could get them into any place. But Jared didn't know that, and Jensen wasn't about to tell._

_''So, what do you do, Dean?'' Jared asked mid meal. Smiling at Jensen, dimples and white teeth, almost blinding._

_Dean. Right. Jensen was a killer, what did Dean do?_

_''I'm a fighting instructor.'' Close enough, he supposed._

_''Really?''_

_Jensen gulped, he'd never found it hard to lie. He gave Jared details, long enough into the night, he wished he had the life Jared thought he had. When they arrived at Jared's, Jensen knew Jared won't invite him in. Wasn't that kind of a person._

_''I had fun tonight,'' Jared's cheeks were pinking up. He leaned in, kissed Jensen on the corner of his mouth. Jensen smiled, the gesture was sugary._

_''I'll call you?'' Jensen said, and he was more surprised than Jared was. He offered Jared his phone, allowed his thoughts to wander while Jared programmed his number in._

_What did he think he was doing, exactly?_

_He was supposed to leave tonight. And yet, he was standing in front of the small apartment complex, staring at the door._

_He somehow convinced himself, that another week in the city, another night out with Jared, wasn't a bad idea. He had nothing to do anyway, and they would call him if they needed him so he was free to stay if he wanted to._

_He called and Jared agreed to go out with him again. Jensen freaked out for the two days before their date, and kept thinking where to take Jared to, kept adding facts into his made up character._

_Apart from being a professional assassin, Dean was basically the same as him. Preferred the_ _same dishes and_ _listened to the same music._  

_They watched a movie. Jared shared his popcorn with Jensen, they kissed when the credits appeared. Jensen called Jared an hour after he dropped him off._

_On their third date, they went to an amusement park. Jensen was in town for three weeks now, never happened before. He started getting happier, and sadder._

_He hadn't known, before meeting Jared, that he could be someone else, and be liked for it. He hadn't known, that he wanted to be._

_The day that marked his thirty-third in the same place, he got a call. A job was waiting for him in Italy. Cleaning up a mess, Jeffrey called it._

_Jensen refused to take the job. It was the first time ever, in a long list of first-time evers, that Jensen did that. Jared was proving to be a problem._

_*_

_''Hey Dean, how are you?'' Jared was smiling, it was clear from his tone. Jensen closed his eyes, imagining Jared holding the phone to his ear._

_''I'm good. I was thinking maybe we could meet tonight?''_

_A pause followed his question, then a sigh from the other end ''I can't, I promised Chad and Gen I would go out with them.''_

_Jared had mentioned his friends, said they wanted to meet Jensen. Jensen refused the few times Jared had asked, because this was not a thing. In his line of business, the less people he associated with the better. Being remembered by many wasn't beneficial_

_''Oh,''_

_''Sorry, Dean.''_

_In the short time he spent with Jared, Jensen discovered a lot about himself. He was selfish, very much so when it came to Jared. The desire to own was almost overwhelming. He knew that logically he couldn’t monopolize Jared's time, and Jared rarely got to hang out with his friends as they all had different shifts at work. But they had Jared forever, and Jensen wasn't a constant._ _When they started going out, Jensen didn't use any tricks. He could've but he didn't. Jared deserved better._

_But Jared got nothing but Jensen now, and he wouldn't have him for long. So Jensen thought, just this once._

_''I thought I would say goodbye,'' he regretted it almost as soon as the words got out, but even with the guilt, he couldn't stop._

_''What?'' Jared squeaked._

_''I'm leaving town tomorrow,'' he waited for a while._

_''Like...forever?'' the tone was unbelieving, but tinged with shaky sadness. Disappointment._

_''Yeah,'' he breathed. It hurt more than he was counting on. And it was more than a ploy to get to Jared, he had to leave, eventually. Now was the time._

_There was a long silence, Jensen could hear Jared inhale and exhale._

_''Where do you want to go?''_

_He didn't feel happy, the walk to Jared's place was a blur, everything cramming in his head. The past month or so, Jared's breathtaking kisses, his large hand in Jensen's, his dimpled smile, and multi-colored eyes._

_Jensen's chest was too full, heavy. Someone had replaced his heart with lead._

_Jared was waiting for him at the door. He wasn't dressed up to go out, threaded sweats and an old, grey T-shirt. His hair was wet, and his cheek flushed. His smile had a melancholic sweetness to it._

_''Were you going to tell me that you don't actually live here?'' The accusation Jensen expected wasn't in the words. Jared just looked tired._

_''I did.'' It was childish and he knew it. Jared's shoulder slumped, that smile was back on his face. He tipped his head for Jensen to go inside, and followed him in. He'd been in Jared's apartment only once before. It was cozy if a bit messy and Jensen liked it._

_He took a seat on the couch and looked up at Jared. Jared stepped closer to him, climbed onto his lap and crushed their lips together. It was the same as every kiss they shared. In that it was Jared, electrifying and terrifying and a revelation. But different, more urgent, there was a deadline now, an end. Jared was desperate._

_Jensen buried his fingers in Jared's hair, pulled him closer, opened his mouth wide and let their tongues tangle. Jared moaned, arms tightening their hold on Jensen's neck. His hips rocked forward, hardness brushing against Jensen, and they'd done this before but not more. This had a promise behind it. Jensen's heart was in his throat, this was the goodbye he'd expected getting, the feeling of guilt suffocated him but not enough to make him stop kissing Jared's mouth._

_They broke off. Jensen looked up at Jared, saw the tears at the edges of his beautiful eyes, and his heart sank. They kissed again, harder and longer._

_Jared was coming alive in his arms, hot breaths, writhing body and sweat. Gleaming skin in the dark room. Their clothes fell on the floor, they kept their position. Jared's beautifully long legs were on either sides of Jensen's, his ass grinding down onto Jensen's erection. Slow, but exquisite, torturous friction._

_Jared got up and pulled him into his room. He pushed him against the headboard and crawled onto his lap again, kissing him. Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared's waist, hugged him tight as they brushed their lips together._

_One of Jared's arms snaked to the side, and he pushed a bottle of lube and a condom into Jensen's hand. Their eyes met and Jensen got his confirmation without asking. He took the lube and poured some on his fingers. Jared tore the condom open and put it on Jensen's cock, stroking it up and down._

_Jensen pushed his middle finger in slowly, closing his eyes at the sweet heat, and the broken moan that fell from Jared's lips. He moved it up and down till it slid easy, and added another finger._

_Jared's hips bucked back, and his hand stuttered in its motion on Jensen's dick. Their faces were so close, mouths open, a kiss that kept being broken by moans and whimpers._

_It was madding, the way Jared rocked back onto the intrusion, the way he bit on Jensen's lips, his hitched breaths and broken gasps drove Jensen near to the edge. A hazy blanket fell over him, and he no longer felt lost._

_Jared's hand held his dick, the other on Jensen's shoulder. He lifted himself, keeping his eyes locked on Jensen's as he sank down, his prepped hole swallowing Jensen to the hilt in one slow slide._

_''Dean,'' Jared breathed, and Jensen was pulled to reality. This was a lie, everything was. Jared's lips tasted like fire, Jensen's lungs burned. He wanted to be Dean, he wanted Jared to call him by his name._

_Jared's mewls got louder as he pumped himself up and down, Jensen's hands on his hips bouncing him on his rigid length. It built up, in his chest then pooled down. Too much, till it exploded out of him. He cried out for Jared, came so hard his mind went blank. Jared's hot released covered his stomach._

_''Dean, Dean. God, Dean.''_

_Jensen kissed him, if Jared called him Dean again now, he would shatter._

_He slept in Jared's bed for the first time ever, Jared's head on his chest, his hair tickling Jensen's nose. On the long list of  ''first-time-ever's'' Jensen wrote another item._

**_Falling in love._ **

*

''Mmm..Jensen?'' Jared's eyes flutter open, he lifts his head and smiles at Jensen. A sleepy, adorable grin that Jensen can't stop himself from kissing.

''Morning,''

Jared cuddles back against him, not bothering to answer. It appears he wants to sleep some more, but that's out of their hands. With no small amount of will, Jensen pulls away, sits with his back to the headboard. Jared looks at him from under his lashes, but Jensen can see through the attempt at coyness; Jared is scared.

''I still think you going with me is a horrible idea,'' Jensen starts, lifts his hand to signal that he's not done when Jared readies himself to protest ''but I can see that arguing about it is futile, and I know when to give up.''

''I don't like it. So I will ask you again to please reconsider,'' Jensen makes sure to look straight into Jared's eye, communicating how hard it will be for them to go together.

''I know.'' Jared straddles him, arms around his neck, and face buried in his shoulder. Every word breathed on his skin ''I'm being childish, and stupid. And likely to get both of us killed, but Jensen...''

Jensen doesn't interrupt, places his hands on Jared's shoulder blades and returns the embrace. Jared is shaking in his arms, but he's not crying, only his breaths are labored.

''I can't just stay here, not when you're out there and could get yourself killed. I can't fight like you, but I can help, or maybe I can't and I'm just acting selfish. I just want to be with you, and if it kills me, so be it. I'm fine with it, and I won't blame you.''

Jensen closes his eyes against the burn in them. He's guilty of bringing all of this down on Jared, and the possibility of losing Jared hurts to even consider. But he can never bring himself to regret that he stayed, that he loved Jared. Can never wish Jared loved him less. Just a bit less. Enough to forgive him, not enough to follow him to what could be his death.

The thing is, Jared is not the only selfish one in this relationship. Jensen is sure he’s the worst out of the two of them. Jared’s breath on his neck, takes him back physically to the time he had Jared like this for the first time, and his blood runs hot.

He flips them over, Jared yelps as his wrists are pinned beside his head. Jensen doesn't waste time crushing their mouths together. Claiming Jared for himself once more.

**************

They end up in the same position they woke up in. Jared’s head on Jensen’s chest, breathing in sync.  Jensen wishes they had more time, but time is rushing forward and he has to get up.

He has no idea how they found him again, and he needs help. He vaguely recalls that Jared had thrown his dept symbol onto the floor, last night. He grins, Jared is sweet but he can be very difficult when he chooses to be. He plants a kiss on Jared’s head and gets up, Jared follows him.

They dress in silence, side by side. Then move to the kitchen, to eat. After their little tryst on the table, they moved to the bedroom and spent the day there. Too preoccupied with their hunger for each other to care about food, and both of them are starving. It’s been almost a day. And fuck, that’s some serious stamina he and Jared have.

It’s very early, Jensen notices when they get seated with their food. Barely seven. It must be because of how early they retired yesterday that he thought it was near noon. Out of the corner of his eye, he keeps throwing looks Jared’s way.

He cleans his throat to get Jared’s attention. “Can you shoot a gun?’’

Jensen is mostly sure Jared can’t, but they’ve never talked about this before. Jensen was too cautious to venture into this territory with his past looming over him.  

‘’I...no,’’ Jared pushes his plate away, turns in his chair to face Jensen, expression expectant. Jensen breaks their gaze, casting his eyes down.

‘’You need to.’’

He feels more than sees Jared’s nod. He stands up and motions with his head for Jared to follow. Jared does so without words.

Outside, it’s cold. Smells like freshly fallen leaves, and dirt. The crisp air makes his nose dry as he fills his lungs with it. Jared shifts his weight from foot to foot at his side, hands restless. He keeps running them through his hair, messing it up; a nervous habit of his that Jensen finds endearing. He smiles despite the heaviness in his chest, faces Jared with his lips curved upwards.

Jared gifts him with a ghost of a grin, nothing as bright as his usual ones but close enough. Jensen draws courage from it, reminds himself that this is necessary, that he has to do this.

Jared’s long fingers wrap around the handle of the gun, hand dipping in the air from the unexpected weight. Jensen remembers the first time he held a weapon, how he didn’t hesitate and his eyes didn’t shine as Jared’s are right now.

Jared is looking at him with wide eyes, and Jensen hates himself for this, hates the sight of the lethal weapon in Jared’s hands. His big, warm hands, soft and reassuring. Hands meant to take care and soothe. Never for this, never for guns.

‘’Hold it up,’’ Jensen orders, Jared complies. Arm lifting the gun, pointing it forward. A fine tremor makes its way through him, then his arm shakes.

‘’Jensen,’’ His voice is weak, scared. He stares at Jensen like Jensen holds the answers to everything.

‘’It’s okay, Jay.’’

He steps behind Jared, extends his arm along Jared’s own, and cover Jared’s hand with his on the gun. His lips ghosts a kiss on Jared’s ear before he whispers ‘’You won’t have to shoot anybody. This is only a precaution. I’ll protect you,’’

Jared leans back against him and nods. Jensen licks his way down Jared’s neck, kisses the swell of his shoulder over his clothes.

‘’Put your finger on the trigger, it’s okay.’’

When Jared does, Jensen removes his hand, placing it on Jared’s hip instead. ‘’Just hit that tree, anywhere in its trunk,’’

The shot tears through the peaceful silence, birds flying away. The bullet hits the tree, almost chest level on a person. And Jensen is both proud, and nauseated

Tears stream down Jared’s cheeks, and he turns around, buries his face in Jensen’s shoulder. The gun falls to the ground, Jensen should teach his boy about the safety. But right now, he only wants to hold Jared.  

*

They make it to NYC sometime near 1 AM. They stopped twice on the way. Both times had been 15 minutes and at Jared's insistence. Jared's not sure how Jensen does it. But he's been driving non-stop since they've left their cabin over 24 hours ago. He slept for the past eight hours, giving up on Jensen allowing him to drive.

Maybe Jensen thinks he doesn't need to sleep.

They make their way through empty streets and stop in front of a luxurious, tall building. Jared stares up at it in awe. The entrance is a huge arch, made of glass. On either side of it, columns made of concrete stand, engraved with a delicate pattern.

Long rows of flowers line the way, a deep burgundy carpet  rolled to near the edge of the pavement. Two men, dressed in black suits and heavy, dark coats stand guard.

Jensen gets out of the car and strolls to Jared's side. He opens Jared's door then moves to get their suitcases out of the trunk.

One of the men rushes to Jensen, takes the bags from him and the other pulls the door back for them. Jensen places an arm around Jared's waist and walks him inside.

The interior is no less extravagant than the exterior. Spacious hall with high ceiling, decorated with chandeliers. The light is yellow, and dim. The side of the hall has tables lined in a long row, at the opposite side, numerous elevators. People walk around in uniform, and the ones seated are dressed in fine, expensive looking clothes.

The reception is at the far end of the hall, a wooden bar and behind it the host is standing. He's a middle aged man, with dark skin and glasses hanging low on the bridge of his nose. At the sight of Jensen his smile turns more genuine.

''Welcome to the Continental, sir.''

Jensen nods at him, a familiar air to the gesture. Jared stands behind Jensen. Discreetly eyeing the place. It would cost them a arm and a leg to stay the night here, but Jared keeps his mouth shut, watches the exchange between Jensen and the man.

''Two nights?'' the man asks. Jensen shakes his head.

''Just one. I want to see Jeffery.''

The man nods his head, and Jensen gives him some golden coins. ''Mr. Morgan will be with you after you have your breakfast tomorrow.'' he pushes the keys on the bar, and Jensen picks them up with his index and thumb. ''Room 632.''

Jensen turns around and beckons Jared to follow, a few steps to the elevator and the host's voice stops them ''And as usual, we're honored to have you here, Mr. Ackles. Enjoy your stay.''

Jared glances at the man over his shoulder, Jensen doesn't. Quickening his pace.

Their room is nothing that Jared’s seen before outside of movies. The safe house they stayed in wasn’t crappy, but it was a far cry from this place. Huge bed, with too many pillows arranged as a headboard. To the right of it, a closet that has mirrors on the doors stands. On the far wall two big windows, the white curtains tied neatly on each side of them.

There’s a big couch, it’s back to the bed, but there’s no TV. On the left of the bed, a door which probably leads to the bathroom.  A small fridge, and a bar, next to it.

Jensen sits on the bed, shoulder slumping and eyes squeezed shut. Wrinkles on his forehead. Jared frowns.

‘’You okay?’’

Jensen nods, but his eyes remain closed.

He flinches when Jared’s hands settle on his shoulders. Jared slides his hands up, cupping Jensen’s face and gently lifting his head.

‘’Your head is hurting, isn’t it?’’ he whispers.

Jensen’s lips press in a line, and he nods. Jared moves fast, gets the light. Then back to the bed, he helps Jensen out of his clothes and sits with his back on the pillows, crossing his legs.

He pats his thigh, and Jensen gives him a soft smile. Lays his head on Jared’s leg.

Jared drags his fingers down through Jensen’s hair, settles two fingers on each of Jensen’s temples and starts drawing circles, pressing rhythmically. Jensen growns, pushing his head back onto Jared.

He keeps it up till Jensen’s breath gets shallow, his chest rising and falling gently.

Jared contemplates moving, his legs are already aching from staying in the same position too long, but in the end, he can’t bring himself to disturb Jensen’s slumber. Jensen hasn’t slept in the past however many hours it took them to get here. So Jared leans back, rests his head on the pillows and closes his eyes.

*

Jeffry is nothing like Jared imagined, and yet he retains some of the feared mob boss picture that came to mind when Jensen first mentioned him.

He’s tall, almost as tall as Jared himself, and he carries himself with the confidence of a man expecting to be respected, and obeyed. More than a leader in the underworld, he appears as a military commander.

Dressed to the nines, black from head to toe in tailored trousers and a button down shirt. He smiles, cold at Jared, just a tad warmer when his eyes catch Jensen.

“Son, welcome.’’ He opens his arms, like he might pull Jensen into them. The way he takes up space makes the air scarce. Jared feels like can’t take his next breath if this man doesn’t allow it. Looks at Jensen, who to someone other than Jared might seem completely at ease. But Jared knows him, can see the subtle things, the tells.

Jensen feels the pressure of being with this man, perhaps not the way Jared does. Jared’s worry is mixed with fear. Jensen is just uncomfortable.

“Good morning, Jeffrey. I didn’t think you’d join us for breakfast,’’

Jeffrey takes a seat, signals the waiter away when he offers him a glass of tea. ‘’I’m not going to eat, Jensen. Merely looking for the pleasure of your company. It’s been too long,’’

Jensen nods, jaw twitching. His hand curls in a fist on his thigh. Jared sighs, forces himself to move, put his hand on Jensen’s and laces their fingers together. Like he’s been freed, all the tension leaves Jensen, his shoulder square, and he smiles at Jeffery as his hand tightens around Jared’s.

‘’This is Jared. My boyfriend,’’

Technically, they’re engaged. But neither of them has referred to the other as that since the whole fiasco. Jared left the ring in their house when this had started. He was angry back then, but even now he doesn’t regret it. That ring was Dean’s. And he’s not with Dean anymore.

He startles when Jensen tugs on his hand, and he gives Jensen an annoyed look. Jensen arches a brow at him. Jeffrey chuckles.  

‘’He’s not with us, I see,’’ Jeffrey sounds amused. And Jared realizes they were talking to him and he wasn’t responding. Jeffrey must think him slow.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ he says.

Jeffrey shakes his head ‘’I’m glad to finally meet the reason I lost my best guy,’’ he smiles with his teeth showing. Jared has Jensen’s hand in a death grip. Jeffery is sizing him up, gazing right through him. He feels bare with all his clothes on.

‘’You chose well, Jensen.’’ he’s still staring at Jared as he says this. He turns his head, and Jared swears he can feel the weight of his gaze physically disappearing.

‘’Now, you asked to see me. What can I do for you?’’

Jensen’s hand leaves him, as Jensen threads his own fingers together on the table ‘’Do you know who’s after me?’’

Jeffrey cocks his head to the side, the edge of his smile sharpens. ‘’No,’’ he says.

Jared jumps in his seat, as Jensen leaves the table. Two steps away from it, he glances at Jared over his shoulder then motions with his head. Jared almost lose his footing to follow Jensen back to their room.

‘’What happened there?’’ Jared asks as soon as the door closes behind them.

Jensen is pacing around the room, hands in fists. It’s a tell Jared’s leant early on, Jensen is a control freak, even or maybe especially when it came to his emotions. Digging his nails into his palm is his way of taking control back. Feeling pain under his own terms instead of whatever is troubling him.

‘’Jen?’’

Jensen freezes, stares at Jared with wide eyes, then a slow smile curve his lips ‘’Jen?’’ he repeats. He doesn’t sound upset, but something...surprised, maybe.

‘’Is that okay?’’ Jared asks. He used to call him Dee, but that’s not who he is, and Jared wants the sweetness of having a name only he’s allowed to use for this man.

Jensen marches to him, his fingers threading in Jared’s hair and tugging. The kiss is open-mouthed and messy. Stealing the air from Jared’s lungs, Jensen’s kiss leaves him dizzy.

‘’If it was anyone else, I’d probably shoot them.’’ Jensen says, smile right against Jared’s lips he can still taste it. He seals their mouth again, a softer and longer kiss.

‘’What was that about, Jensen?’’

Jensen sighs, locks his arms around Jared’s waist and just looks at him. Finally, he says:

‘’Jeffrey and this place is like Switzerland. No one is allowed to fight here, Jeffrey sees to the laws of this place. There are consequences for spelling blood here.’’

Jared follows the line of Jensen’s jaw with his fingers ‘’I don’t understand,’’ he breathes.

‘’We respect him because he follows the rules too. He knows who’s after me, but he won’t tell me.’’

Why did we come here then? Jared wants to ask. But he hold himself back. Something in the exchange between Jensen and Jeffrey felt familiar, brief as it was. It spoke of knowledge and time spent together so much longer than Jared’s time with Jensen.

He won’t begrudge Jensen the visit to someone from his past, perhaps Jensen needed this.

‘’I should clean up some,’’ Jensen says. He walks away from Jared, throws his shirt on the bed, then his shoes. He’s being messy, something that usually drives Jared insane. He doesn’t feel like chastising Jensen, just watches him whistle his way to the bathroom with a smile.

A soft knock on the door makes Jared frowns. As far as he knows they didn’t order anything. He opens the door, and a tall man smiles at him.

The world goes dark before he can smile back.

*

Jensen turns the faucet, puts his hand under the water. He stops and looks back at the door, Jared steps were heading out. A heavy thud sounds and Jensen is marching to the door.

He yanks the door open, gets a glimpse of Jared being stuffed into a laundry cart by a tall guy. It takes him less than a second to get his gun, the man already running to the elevator.

He takes the stairs, jumping down rather than running. He gets there before the elevator’s door opens. Stands in front of it and counts the floors.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1..

The damn thing is empty.

Bastard made a stop and changed elevators.

He sprints through the hall like a mad man, pushing people in his way. The only other way is the kitchen, the back doors.

The screams tips him off before he rounds in, the guy is pushing the cart away amidst cursing and shoving workers.  

Jensen aims for the man’s skull, shoots, misses. A pile of dishes takes his bullet, he takes off after the man. Stepping on the glass he just broke.

Shoots and keeps shooting. He’s not seeing clear. Hearing his heart as he runs. People fall in his path, he jumps over a cart. The man makes it to the door seconds before Jensen and he knows it’s done.

He sees the black car they shove Jared into, starts shooting after it. His gun is empty.

He watches the rear of the car driving away. Taking Jared away.

His scream is intangible anger. His steps back inside are stomps on the floor. He leaves trails of blood in his wake. Only when he Jefrey’s hands are on his shoulders does he realize that he’s bleeding.

He sits down on the closest chair to him. Looking around him, he’s back in the reception hall. Jeff is talking, he’s talking but Jensen can’t get a word.

He was so stupid, how could he leave Jared, even for a second. Fuck.

Head buried in his hands, eyes closed, he replays the scenes on repeat. The thud of Jared’s body as it touched the ground, his chase. If he spared another second to take ammo, or another gun.

If he thought logically and went straight to the kitchen. If he asked Jared to go into the bathroom with him. If, If , If.

He’s looking at the desk. He was staring forward. The sting comes sudden and hot, his cheek burning. The sound rushes last.

‘’Jensen, hold it together!’’

He looks up, Jeffrey’s face is hard ‘’Knock it off,’’ he repeats, slow on each word. Jensen thinks he wouldn’t have gotten the meaning otherwise. Something builds up in him, hard and cold. He’s in Jeffrey’s face before he can stop himself, hands balled in his collar. Backs him till he hits the wall.

‘’This place is supposed to be safe!’’ he shouts. Hands shaking. ‘’What happened to your rules huh? Who took him?’’

Two men move him away from Jeffrey, force him to sit down again. He doesn’t fight them and they know it. They would be both dead if he did.

Jeffrey smoothes his collar down, smiles at him. Jensen’s glad his gun is empty, he would’ve put a bullet in his head and make this mess even bigger than it is.

‘’The man’s name is Mark Pellegrino, and he will be dealt with accordingly.’’

‘’He’s just a hit man. Tell me who ordered the shot.’’

Jeffrey shakes his head ‘’You’d figure it out if you took a break. You’re not on top of your game, wouldn’t have let Pellegrino escape if you were.’’

‘’Are you saying this is my fault?’’ he booms. The blood in his veins is running hot and cold. He itches for a fight, somewhere to place the blame. Knows damn well it’s on him. Can’t accept it.

‘’It’s not mine either,’’ Jeffrey answers. Voice amused. This time, Jensen wishes he has a gun.  

He gets up, walks to the elevator. Winces, and looks back, catching sight of the bloody trail of footsteps behind him.

He rubs his face with both hands. Faces Jeffrey, says ‘’I’m not paying for clean up,’’

The room feels larger than it did with Jared in it, but somehow it has less air. Jensen wants to take time, bury himself in his bed sheets and wallow.  He has no time for it.

They won’t kill Jared, not after all the trouble they went through to take him alive. But they might hurt him.

In the bathroom he stares at the glass pieces cutting into his sole, wants to leave them in. So he can hurt, too.

It’s a weakness he cannot afford. Jeffrey was right, his mind is not in it, and if he’s gonna get Jared back, he has to get it together.

Halfway through picking splinters, a doctor arrives at his room. He doesn’t talk, sets to work right away. Faster and much more efficient than Jensen. His feet wrapped up in white gauze, she presents a small bottle to him ‘’For the pain,’’ she says. Then gathers her stuff and leaves.  

Another 30 minutes pass before he has enough energy to stand up and shower.

*

When he sets his guns, he closes his eyes. Allows his hands to take over, the curves on his weapons under his fingers take him back in time. The blood scent fill his nostrils, faces of people he killed, ones who paid him to kill.

Think, who would buy Pellegrino?

Everyone.

Wrong question.

Who would know Pellegrino would take a job like this?

Someone with connections, knowledge almost as vast as Jeffrey’s.

Jensen has no doubt whoever paid Pellegrino to break the rules, he did it knowing Pellegrino before hand, chose him for that sole purpose.

The gun clicks as he attached the final piece. A face comes to his mind.

He opens his eyes, ‘’That fucking coward,’’

He needs a new suit.

*

‘’Always thought you looked better dressed formal,’’ Jeffrey tells him. ‘’He’s a remarkable guy. Good luck.’’

Jensen’s smile holds no joy in it. He nods at Jeffrey’s goodbye, at his wish to meet again.

If the choice was his, he’d never set a foot in this world.

The suit he’s wearing is specially made to be covered in blood, tailored to take bullets like an armor. And Jensen hates that he’s wearing one. Dressed like he’s going to a fancy dinner, when he’s going to spill blood. He wouldn’t have cared, three years ago.

As he drives away, the only thought in his head, is that once he gets Jared back he’s never wearing another suit again.  

**

Music fills the air. Repeated notes on a piano and a violin that makes Jared think of a forest in the night and chilly breeze. He opens his eyes, blinks at the ceiling.

‘’Ah, you’re awake.’’ a man remarks.

Jared turns toward the voice, the man is seated in a large armchair, holding a book on his lap. He looks around, tries to remember how he got here.

‘’Don’t you like the music?’’

The man is talking with a British accent, and a condescension that instantly grates on Jared’s nerves. Jared’s eye catches the music source, an antique phonograph placed on a wooden table. It brings to his attention that the whole place is decorated in a classic design.

‘’That’s Winter, by Vivaldi,’’ the man goes on.

‘’I’m not big on classical music,’’ he replies. His throat aches, and he swallows the itch down.

‘’Isn’t it marvelous? You can feel the window opens to let the freezing wind in.’’

The man talks and talks, about the piece, about the composer. His mother who gave him the phonograph as a gift. This was her favourite version, she didn’t like the whole symphony, just the violin and the piano together. There’s something poetic in only two instruments playing in tandem and making it sound better than...

Jared was with Jensen, at the Continental. They were supposed to be safe there.

He opened the door, what happened?

‘’How did I get here?’’

The man stops his lengthy speech, and eyes Jared with a bit of apprehension, a smile, then, takes up his features ‘’Where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Mark Sheppard, your humble host for tonight,’’  

‘’For tonight?’’ Jared feels like he fast forwarded a part of a movie, and now he’s in the middle of a plot he can’t follow.

‘’Yes, tonight. You won’t be staying here for too long,’’

‘’Where’s Jensen?’’ the man, Mark, is getting on his nerves faster than Chad.

‘’If he’s as good as I remember, on the way here,’’ Mark answers, an edge of fear in his tone. ‘’You won’t be meeting him soon I’m afraid. But during the time your flight gets ready, is there anything you fancy?’’

‘’Flight?’’

Mark doesn’t answer, he leaves his seat and walks to the phonograph, stops the melody. Pours himself two fingers of whiskey. ‘’I shall send a maid with a change of clothes and some food. Any particular order?’’

‘’Not hungry.’’ He’s not lying, he’s queasy, despite the dryness of his throat.

‘’The bathroom is there, in case you feel like a bath.’’ With that, Mark leaves him alone.

Jared jumps out of the bed, walks to the door, only to find it locked. A look out of the window tells him that he’s in the second floor. He searches the room, finds all the drawers and closets empty. The bathroom has nothing but toiletries. The frustration makes him want to scream, but the fear starting to build up is more incapacitating.

What happened to Jensen after he lost consciousness? Jensen is good at this. He’s okay, he has to be.

He must think of a way to run from here. Mark said Jensen will be here soon, but they’re planning to move Jared elsewhere. A flight indicates somewhere at least out of state. He doesn’t think he’s in NYC anymore, anyway.

He’s not harmed, and they didn’t bother tying him up. But he can’t get too comfortable, maybe they’ll drug him again. He decides it’s safer to drink water from the bathroom, and not to consume anything Mark offers.

Time passes slowly. He has no clock in the room, but he thinks fifteen minutes go by before the maid knocks.

The trolley of food she brings is full of different dishes, and he’s not so nauseated anymore. He takes the clothes and pats them down. Feels ridiculous under the woman’s gaze.

‘’Excuse me, do you know where we are?’’

She stares at him till he squirms ‘’No English,’’ she says with a heavy accent.

Great.  

He takes a bath after all, nothing else to pass the time. When the sun falls, the maid comes again and replaces the food. Stands beside the trolley.

‘’Est-ce qu’il y a quelque chose de mal avec la nourriture? Vous n'aimez pas le poulet?’’ she looks distressed, and he has no clue what she’s saying.

‘’Est-ce que vous voulez quelque chose d’autre?’’

‘’I don’t understand.”

She frowns and turns to the food, then back to him. Points at the chicken and very deliberately points at him then says ‘’No?’’

‘’Oh! The food is fine, I’m just not hungry,’’

Mark chooses that moment to enter the room, steps determined. He nods at the maid and she hastily walks out. In her stead, three beefy men make their way in, standing behind Mark.

‘’I want you to know that I really, really, would rather not to do this the hard way. So if you’d be a good lad and walk with the boys willingly, I shall be grateful,’’

Jared considers his options. He knows his limits; big as he as he has no training. And apart from the half hour of jogging he does with Jensen every morning he’s not athletic. He can’t fight the three men, and he most likely won’t be able to outrun them.

He has no delusions about getting out on his own.

‘’I didn’t have my dinner, yet,’’ he says, opting to stall. Maybe if he delays them till Jensen arrives.

Mark narrows his eyes at the food, turns his nose up. ‘’Please, help yourself.’’

The trolley has the dishes arranged on it in a formal way. Silver utensils, forks on the left. Wine and water, and endless spoons and a knife on the right.

He inhales deep, sends a prayer, and grips the knife.

He twirled around, and stabs at the guy closer to him, putting his weight behind the hit. The knife goes into one man’s side, and he doesn’t waste time trying to pull it out. Runs around the trolley and throws the forks at the two men coming towards him.

He pushes the trolley and runs to the bathroom, locks himself inside with the sound of Mark’s shout.

‘’Is that a gun?’’ Mark hollers. Jared doesn’t hear the answer, rushes to push the bathtub in front of the door. He struggles with it, and almost makes it.

The door falls off of its hinges and the men comes running. One of them holding a gun in level with his head. He freezes for a second, then he sees. The safety lock is in its place.

He sprints to the door, pushing at the man who stands in his way with everything he’s got, but Mark throws a punch that catches Jared right in the jaw. He loses focus, the man grips his wrist and twist his hand behind his back.

Jared screams.

‘’Don’t break his bloody arm!’’ Mark barks, hysterical ‘’It’s bad enough you punched him.’’

The man with the gun says something that might be in Russian.

‘’No, you punched him, you moron!’’

The man holding him hisses something, and then Mark is cursing and shouting ‘’I’m gonna get killed!’’

For a moment he doesn’t understand, but then it clicks. Dread washes over him as he realizes that these men, whoever they are, are scared. Terrified of hurting him.

Because of Jensen.  

His body gives up and he collapses, leaves himself to be supported by the man behind him. He doesn’t fight as the walk him out of the bathroom, then out of the room.

How good Jensen is at this job, for him to be this feared?

How fucking dangerous.

How many people has he killed?

For some reason the idea has never occurred to him before, perhaps it’s the speed in which everything has come down on his head. But he’s never considered it.

The men in their home were attacking them, but Jensen.

Jensen killed others. Many others. Enough to be feared by other... _criminals_.

The revelation leaves him weak, exhausted. As they push him into a car, Jared wonders if it’ll change anything. If next time he sees Jensen, he won’t run into his arms.

Knows as his eyes drops, that it won’t. That he already forgave Jensen everything.

*

Jensen arrives to an official welcome. Mark has always had a touch, was always a smart coward. So while Jensen is surprised he’s not that surprised.

No one tries to fight him. The nod at him when he walks in, open the door for him. Mark comes running with his cunning smile, and his hands clapped together.

‘’Jensen! It’s been so long!’’  

‘’Where is he?’’ Jensen isn’t in the mood for whatever game this man is playing.

‘’He’s not here, unfortunately.’’

Jensen narrows his eyes ‘’I’m not a patient man, Mark. You know that,’’

He does know, it’s why he ordered his men not to engage. He knows the outcome of that before hand. A battle with Jensen is a lost one.

‘’Honest. He was here, but he’s not anymore. I promise that no harm was done to him under my roof. We gave him the best hospitality, and a first class flight.’’

‘’To where?’’ Jensen can feel his muscles twitching with irritation. He’s never liked Mark. The man was too smart to give Jensen a reason to put a bullet in his head, but he’s always walking a fine line.

Fucking pest.

‘’Italy,’’ Mark whispers.

Jensen takes a deep breath, pull his gun out.

‘’Jensen, Jensen, no need to be rash.‘’ Hands held up in a sign of peace ‘’I didn’t want to do this, I had to. I had a blood debt. And I made sure he’s not hurt.’’

‘’You telling me that he walked onto that flight willingly, I’m calling bullshit. I will shoot you, Mark.’’

‘’Oh hell no, it wasn’t willingly. He stabbed one of my men with the silverware. Pushed the trolley on the other, I’m sure Ivan has a concussion from the hit he got to the bathroom wall.’’

Jensen smirks. That’s his boy.

‘’What’s in Italy?’’

Just because Mark was too scared of him to hurt Jared doesn’t mean whoever got him was the same. And someone bad enough to force Mark to be involved with him? That can only mean trouble.

Mark takes a long breath, looks at Jensen and with a somewhat regretful tone he says ‘’It’s Red.’’

The name and what it entails is like a bucket of ice water dropped over his head. A tremor travels up his spine, drips down as trepidation.

Danneel Harris. The craziest person in their world.

His heart starts beating out of rhythm, he thinks he might actually pass out.

Jared.

She has Jared.

‘’You took him to her?’’ he shouts at Mark, marching toward him. His fear turns to anger and Mark is the only way to let it out. It’s his fault, he took Jared. He paid that asshole to take him.

And now Jared is, Jared is..

Jared.

‘’Jensen! I had no choice!’’ Mark pleads. Jensen’s finger are balled in his fancy shirt, lifting him up to his tiptoes. Eyes wide and breath shallow.

Jensen’s fist connects with his jaw, the satisfying feel of something giving under his knuckle serves nothing but to make him crave more violence. He wishes Mark would set his men on Jensen, give him a target to kill, blood to spill.

Mark falls down and doesn’t get up. Pathetic and cowardly he might be, but he’s right.

A blood debt should be respected. They all count on these rules.

‘’I prepared a jet for you,’’ Mark wheezes. Jensen lets go. Yes, Mark is too smart to be killed. Devil’s too careful.

‘’Can I ask for another favour?’’

Mark arches a brow, and Jensen goes on ‘’ Don’t tell on me. I will be back, and I will shoot you,’’

‘’I don’t like Red. I’m cheering for you.’’

Jensen scowls, ‘’Get me to the airplane,’’  

*

Jensen’s been to Italy twice. One time when he had to kill a mafia boss who ran and hid within the Vatican, and the other when Danneel convinced him to see Venice.

Rome, however.

He’s never had good luck in the gorgeous city.

Mark's men drive him to Sina Bernini Bristol, where he had a room under an alias. Mark was considerate like that. Or he was selling him out and was wrapping him up in fancy gift papers.

He doesn’t care if it’s a trap, he’s going to Danneel either way. She has Jared.

Jared.

How is he doing? Is he hurt? Eating? Sleeping?

Jensen closes his eyes, forces himself to calm down. Any weakness, any distraction will cost him something he cannot afford. If he’s gonna do this, he’s got to do it fully prepared.

Calm down, work it like any other job.

He sleeps for two hours. Takes a shower, has a good meal.

He hates himself for it.

His retrieves his suit.

Shirt goes first, then his sling.  Two Taurus go there. He fills his pockets with ammo. Hides three, small knives on each ankle.

The heavy weapons he has to carry in his suitcase.

Danneel won’t be as accommodating as Mark.

**

He arrives to the mansion the Harris family owns just out of the city. The place is as extravagant as Danneel is. She inherited it after her father’s died three years ago.

It’s huge, and made in an old style; it looks like a king still lives there. Harris always did say Danneel was his princess. The palace was built in three sections: the center one higher than the side wings, its roof dome shaped. Big windows and balconies decorated with lush vines, took place all along the second floor.

In front, gorgeous gardens extended for at least three times the space of the actual building. Green bushes styled like a maze, and in the middle a clearing with a fountain in center. The whole place was surrounded by tall walls, and the gate was made from iron bars.

Jensen has never been inside, and he bites his lips as he takes everything in through his telescope. It’s a serious disadvantage to fight there, and it will be harder to find Jared.

The curtains are all shut, but he counts eight rooms on the second floor, imagines another two he can’t see, or which don’t have windows. Jared will probably be in the second floor where escape would be harder.

He scopes the place again. Two guards on the out gate, three others in the garden, and four more near the inside. He opens the suitcase and sets his sniper rifle. The clicking sounds of the pieces falling into place both familiar and foreign. He lies on the grass, places his eyes on the telescope and his finger on the trigger.

He takes them out as fast as he can, counts how many under his breath so he won't miss anyone.  Bodies fall to the ground, each with a bullet to the head. _Remember Jensen always shoot the head_.

Fifth man hits the ground, the others start moving, a few come out from the house. Jensen shoots them, waits a second to see if he can get anyone else, then jumps to a crouch. He disassembles his weapon and has it in the suitcase in thirty seconds flat, he knows because that's his number. He activates the small bombs he's hidden in the suitcase and closes it.

He runs, throws the suitcase near the iron gate, and takes cover. The sound of the explosion booms, fire flying high, destroying the rifle he used and rendering the gate useless. He's learnt to be effective, clean after himself as he moves.

He takes his guns out and sprints towards the inside door. Two bullets to the handle, then a kick and he's in.

Men pour out of the two hallways up stairs, some of them run down to him, some take positions up and start shooting. He rolls away, takes cover behind one of the big columns supporting the high ceiling. He can only shoot the ones on the ground for now so he doesn't try to fire up, focuses on keeping his body covered as he kills the men coming at him.

He can't hide forever, and he doesn't know how many men are there. He gets a grenade, and throws it over the rail, right next to the men up stairs. The debris hit the pillar he's hiding behind. And he waits for the smoke to dissipate, and to make sure no one's moving.

When he's reasonably safe, he spares a  moment to take in the insides of the hall. Very high ceiling supported by tall wide pillars around the room. On the two sides of it, wide stairs that narrow as they go up. There's open ways on both side of what he can see of the second floor, the previously pristine walls covered with soot from the small explosion. He grimaces at the bloody messes the bodies has turned into, distorted and dismembered, blood everywhere. On the ground and the walls, and the rail.  The room smells like gunpowder and fire, and burnt flesh.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, takes in the gore. Smells the destruction he's leaving in his path. Just a second to be human. When he opens his eyes, he doesn't glance at anything but the way he's taking up the stairs.

He takes the right hallway, and it opens to a slightly more spacious one. Four men raise their guns at him. He rolls to the ground, bullets following in his wake. He shoots a guy then jumps up, uses the body to shield himself from the rest of them. One bullet misses, hits the guy in his neck rather than head, the blood spraying out like a red fountain. The man falls to the ground. Jensen throws the body he has. Both him and the other two had run out of bullets, and they can't afford the time it will take to refill.

Jensen lunges with full speed, puts his shoulder under one of the men's chin and lifts up. Without breaking his momentum he makes a full circle, kicks the other man on his rib. The man falters and Jensen advances on him, kicks on the same spot. Fast as he can. The other rounds on him, tries to hit him in the back of his head but Jensen dodges it, swirls so he's behind the guy and catch him in a headlock, forearm around his neck, other hand on the side of his face. He yanks to the side in a quick jerk, hears the click of the man's spine as his joints fall out of place.  The corpse crumbles to the ground, the last man tries to escape, but Jensen is faster, fists his hand in the back of the man's collar _never give your back to your enemy_ and wrenches him close, gets him in the same position he's got his friend in.

''I'll only ask once, and you better answer truthful and fast 'cause I'm not in a chatty mood.''

He gives just enough leeway to let the man nod minutely, then tightens his hold again. Just on the edge of choking.

''Where's Jared?''

He feels the man swallowing, can see and smell the sweat on them both. Harsh breaths the only thing leaving their lungs for a second. The man grits his teeth, ready to receive his death as a penalty for silence. And Jensen can make him talk but it'll take time, and waste bullets, blunt a knife.

He hits the man's head on the wall, hard enough to crack his skull on the front. Strong place, won't kill him fast, won't make him faint. ''Answer me!'' he hisses in the man's ear. Another bang and the man whimpers, but no words leave his mouth. Jensen's sees red, starts bashing the man's head with all his strength. Blood spluttering, catching on his cheeks, the bone giving under his hands.

''Fuck!'' he roars. Tosses the dead man. Readies his guns for another round, and walks forward.

**

The mansion has a side church of all things, and after a long, draining fight; a man finally points Jensen to it. It's under the ground. The stairs that take him there are narrow and steep, deeper into the ground than one might think at first glance, they open up to a wider space that ends with a wooden engraved door. He tightens his grip on the handle of the gun and carefully push it open.

At the end of long rows of wooden benches, lies a marble altar.

Jared is a sleep on it. Dressed in all black, and it's so out of his style Jensen flinches.

Besides him Danneel is seated. Her body angled so she's leaning over him slightly, fiery locks falling down, nearly touching Jared's chest. She's petting his hair like a loving mother would a child. She straightens her posture, and smiles at Jensen.

She looks exactly the same as he last saw her. A tight, red dress hugging her curves, showing the round of her breasts, hair styled in wavy curls. Her mouth colored with lipstick red as blood  . She's as beautiful as a painting; unreal.

''Hello, Jensen. It's been far too long.” Her voice echoes through the church, like a soft melody. Brings back memories of a not so far away past. She cocks her head to the side, her smile widening.

Jensen levels his gun with her head.

''Oh come on now, don't be like that.'' she says, flips her hair back over her shoulder. Heels click as they hit the ground. She leans back against the altar, turns to look at Jared. ''You proved me wrong after all. You can fall in love.'' She casts her head down, features hiding from view. ''Guess it was just me that you didn't love.''

''Danneel,'' he warns.

''You can't kill me, sweetheart. I've given the order to blow the place up if I die.''

Jensen grits his teeth. Danneel never did play fair.

''What did you do to him?''

''Nothing, he's merely asleep. Bet I can wake him up now.'' she palms Jared's left cheek, turns his face so he'd be looking at Jensen if his eyes were open. ''Jared honey, wake up. Look who came to get you.''

Jared stirs, makes a sound in the back of his throat then slowly opens his eyes. He blinks sleepily, a small smile about to grace his lips but he remembers his predicament and shoots up. Danneel laughs.

''He's something else, this one.'' she points with her thumb at Jared.   

''Jensen!'' Jared tries to get down but Danneel shots him an icy glare and he freezes on spot, eyes darting to Jensen in helplessness. Jensen imagines she's already told Jared how this will play out if he was to disobey her.  

She lifts her dress, revealing creamy thighs, one surrounded by a sling and she pulls a small gun out, points it at Jensen.

''When you left me that night, I didn't care.'' she sighs, tucks a wayward lock behind her ear ''I'm not one of those stalker exes, you know. But.”

But he killer her father. The last time he left her bed, he went to murder her dad.

''You never liked him, anyway.'' he counters.

''It's true. But in this business, one must keep a reputation, you know how big a deal taking revenge is. People won't take me seriously. Imagine the time I spent looking for the killer, only to discover it's you, and that you disappeared. Now picture my surprise as I found out you were happy and _in love_.'' She spits the last part like it's an insult, her eyes harden.

''I have three bullets in this gun,'' she tells him. ''I'll shoot you, and if I miss the second one will go into his head.'' She's crazy enough that he knows the third one is for her. If she missed them, she'll kill herself and takes them with her. She's always been crazy, passionate. Like wildfire. Beautiful in her danger.

She's giving him a choice. He can dodge from this distance, with that old gun. He can escape a shot. She knows he can. She wants him to die for Jared. To choose death.

And he will. If it's what it takes.

He nods at her and closes his eyes.

The bullet shatters the silence that preceded it, louder than he's ever heard. And it feels like a full stop. An end to long sentence.

He falls down, his knees hit the ground then Jared's arms are there to catch him. Danneel missed his heart. He opens his eyes to Jared's tears filled ones.

''You didn't miss him, can't shoot again.'' Jared's repeating to Danneel.

She shrugs, jumps to sit on the altar, watching them.

He can feel his heart going frantic. Beat fluttering fast as he bleeds. Danneel is smiling, looking him right in the eye, and she appears almost tender. He remembers her like this, her hand on her cheek as she peers at something with interest shining in her eyes.

**_''There are things, Jensen. Things you can't take back.''_ **

_Danneel had whispered to him once. Her pale thighs around his waist, her head thrown back as they came down from their high. Jensen looked at her smile, at the way her hair covered the pillow in smooth, shiny waves, and thought distantly of the job he had to do in the next few hours._

_He climbed off the bed, threw the condom. Heard the bed groan as Danneel stretched over it.  ''Want me to wash your back?''_

_Invitation was clear in her leering grin, but he was done for the night. Maybe forever._

_''I have a job. This will be a quick shower,''_

_He closed the door before she could say more._

Danneel is beautiful. She's one of those things, that strikes you stupid. Stunning. It lies in the curve of her waist, the colour of her locks, her long lashes and high cheekbones.

Her beauty strikes you stupid the first time, then the second. Third and fourth.

But you build a tolerance. She's always the same. Same hair, and cheeks and full lips. She is beautiful, and how dull physical beauty can be.

**_''There are things, Jensen. Things you can't take back.''_ **

_''Like what?'' he asked_

**_''A bullet.''_ **

Jared's beauty is different. It's not that he's not physically attractive because he is, that was what caught Jensen's attention the first time they've met. But there's a subtle thing to it. It's in the way his smile brightens a room, how his laugh is infectious. It's not only the cut of his hips, but how he sways them. How his steps are melodious, a grace to his walk as if in a waltz following a rhythm only Jared can hear.

Jared's beauty strikes you hard, hits harder every time. Until you're blind to anything beyond him.

**_''You have to really think, before you shoot. A bullet, can take a life. Can save a life, change a life,''_ **

**_''You can't take it back.''_ **

The blood pours out of him in warm gushes that won't stop no matter the pressure Jared applies. Jared's tears are running, his fingers are stained bright crimson. Both of them know what it means. Jensen hasn't got long left.

He makes use of his time staring at Jared. Discovering yet again, something new to marvel at.  Jared grows more gorgeous by the second, and it's such a shame Jensen won't be here to see how beautiful he'll be when the next sunshine falls upon him.

His attempt at speech is cut by a pained whimper, Jared echoes the sound like he feels the burn in his own gut.

**_''A love confession.''_ **

_He hadn't thought hard about it, the first time he told Jared. It had rolled from his lips like it was always on the tip of his tongue. It occurred to him later, that he didn't care whether he could take it back. He didn't want to._

''I love you.''

Jared's lips move, frantic. More tears fall, slide down Jared's cheeks and land on Jensen.

''Call an ambulance!'' Jared demands.

Danneel clicks her tongue three times. ''Now why on earth wo...''

''You owe him! This,'' Jared pulls a cord from around his neck. Dangling at the end of it is  a pocket watch like box, a big cathedral engraved on it. Below it, the letters D and H.

Jensen takes a shuddering breath, seeing how he gave the necklace to Jared when all of this first started. Never expecting that Danneel was the one after them. And Jared, smart beautiful Jared remembered.

Jensen listens to Danneel's hissed words without getting them. He closes his eyes and lets the darkness that’s been lurking on the edge of his vision take over.

**

He wakes up to a bright light and a cottony mouth. His limbs feel distant and heavy. His fingers hurt when he flexes them.

''Jen?''

Jared has dark circles around his eyes, his hair is dirty and unkempt. Stubble on his chin tells Jensen that he hasn't shaved in two days, at least. Jensen tries to smile, but it turns into a wince and Jared bolts out of his chair.

''Jensen!''

''I'm alright.' His cough doesn't help his point, neither does the pained sound he can't help but let out as the jolts stretch his wound.

''The hell you are! You took a bullet to the stomach. To your _stomach_!'' he repeats, arms in the air.

Jensen chuckles but it hurts like hell, so he sombers quickly. ''About that. How am I alive?''

Jared's face pales, he slumps down onto his chair. Jensen's question draining his energy.

''She's agreed to my terms. And they got there so fast, because turns out, she had them at ready. Fucking maniac.'' Jared hisses.

Despite the pain, Jensen laughs. Danneel has always been crazy like that. She might have expected to get hurt herself and wanted a little guarantee. Only Danneel would call an ambulance before she shot someone.

_Fucking maniac._

''Is it really over now?'' Jared whispers, his hand resting over Jensen's.

Jensen turns his hand, thread his fingers through Jared's. Smiles.

''It is.''

Jared gives him a small grin. Barely making his dimples appear.

Jensen was right. Jared is more beautiful today. He's never felt luckier to be alive. Just to see this smile.

''So what now?'' Jared asks after a while of silence.

Jensen dwells on it, casts his eyes on their entwined hands. He's always assumed that they would go back to their lives. Only now seeing that they can't.

What if Jared doesn't want anything to do with him after all this? He's more than entitled to leave.

''Do you...'' he starts finds that he doesn't know what he wants to say. He looks up at Jared, the desperation in his chest turning the burn in his gut into something distant.

Jared places his other hand on their held hands, locks his gaze with Jensen's. The colours in his eyes shining determination.

''I love you, Jensen.'' his words are strong and sure. And he tightens his hold on Jensen's hand as he goes on. “And if you think that I'm leaving after all this crap I'd have to disappoint you. You're stuck with me forever.''

Jensen's hand shoots out without his consent, soft strands twirling around his fingers. He pulls Jared into him. Captures his mouth in a heated kiss. Jared moans into his mouth, kisses back with equal fervour.  Their hands untangle so they can cling to each other, and Jensen marvels at the fact that despite all the burning passion mounting between them, Jared's movements are still liquid sweet. Careful and gentle, minding the wound on Jensen's abdomen.

''I love you.'' He breathes onto Jared's lips, and Jared eats the words right up. Kissing him with tender brushes of lips and tongue.

''Let's move away,'' Jared says, breathless. ''Sell our old house, buy another in a different state. You can still work as a fighting instructor. Just...'' he hesitates ''Can you go by your real name?''

Jensen cups Jared's face, thumbs at his full bottom lip. ''Anything.'' he promises.

Jared takes a breath ''And maybe, we could...'' his cheek heats under Jensen's palm, blush goes to the tips of his ears.

''Yeah?'' Jensen encourages.

''Maybe we could get married.''

Jensen’s heart swells, and he feels the wrinkles around his eyes as the smile split his face. ''Yes,'' he says. Jared starts laughing, his happiness a beautiful melody that rhymes with the beat of their hearts. Jared connects their foreheads together, cups Jensen's face and pecks his lips.

Jensen tastes heaven in Jared's smile, and he vows to himself that he will never let anything take this away from him.

-Fin

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I believe this is finished now, although I like this universe so much that I've spent so much time in it (been working on this since February). I hope you enjoyed this. Please, tell me how you felt about this story.  
> I'm [Nisaki](https://nisaki-chan.tumblr.com) on tumblr, come say hi!


End file.
